NFL Week 6

If every NFL team gets a bye week, shouldn’t the rest of us be afforded the same privilege?

That would be my platform if I ran for president. A bye week for every working American. Time off that doesn’t count toward your vacation days. Wouldn’t that be lovely?

I had my NFL bye week of sorts this past Sunday, traveling to the beautiful Santa Ynez Valley wine country, which is about a two-hour drive from Los Angeles. Let me tell you something: You can have your sports bars, chicken wings, game tickets, overpriced beers and big-screen TVs in the living room. I’ve spent countless NFL gamedays hunched in front of a computer or in a press box.

But you haven’t lived until you watch Carson Wentz throw his first career interception while enjoying a full-bodied syrah. Add a little crostini and soft cheese on the side and you’ve found a little slice of heaven.

Great, now I’m hungry.

Week 5 picks: 8-6

(You can discuss this on the BSL Board here.)

My reverse jinx with the Rams didn’t work out as the Bills came to the Coliseum and won. And I’m officially done with the Dolphins. I’m sick of picking them, I’m sick of watching them and I’m sick of making excuses for them.

Raise your glass to: Roberto Aguayo

You have to feel bad for the kid. Aguayo had a very successful career at Florida State, but instead of making an understated entrance into the NFL like most kickers, this poor guy was taken with a second-round pick.

So, before he had a chance to even put on a uniform, he was the subject of snarky garbage all over the Internet and from TV pundits. He was also burdened with an unfair amount of pressure and because kickers are usually a strange bunch, the attention most likely gave him the yips.

On Monday night, his rookie-year struggles continued as he gakked his first two field-goal attempts, but he kept at it and came through when it counted. His game-winning kick sailed through the uprights as time expired to give Tampa a sorely needed victory heading into its bye week.

Way to go, Roberto. Here’s hoping this starts a run of success.

Boo this man: Chicago media

Look at all you fancy pants reporters, stuffing your face with free hot dogs and sodas. Sitting up there in the press box, lording over your fiefdom with your serf-like readers and causing havoc with your uninformed words.

You think you’re real smart, don’t you? Pointing out all the open receivers that Bears QB Brian Hoyer missed in Sunday’s loss to the Colts? How DARE you?!

It’s no wonder that head coach John Fox smacked you all down with his rapier wit.

“I don’t know that you can be super-critical. When you’re out there playing quarterback it looks a little different than when you’re up in the press box having hot dogs,” Fox told the drooling, overweight horde sitting in front of him.

Ooooh, sick burn worthy of Samantha Bee!! I’m going to tweet out a link with the headline: “John Fox eviscerates the Chicago sports media and leaves them for dead!”

I’m kidding. John Fox was being a baby. Word of advice to NFL head coaches: When a reporter asks an annoying question (and they will constantly), just brush it off. What you said was technically correct, but it’s just not a great look.

Now, on to the picks!

WEEK 6

BRONCOS AT CHARGERS

The Broncos should be in good shape now that they have Trevor Siemian back under center for this Thursday night matchup. Imagine saying that sentence at this time last year.

Denver won’t have head coach Gary Kubiak roaming the sidelines as he’s out with migraine headaches. As a result, special teams coach Joe DeCamillis will step in on an interim basis and the best thing he can do is as little as possible.

The Broncos defense has a knack for creating turnovers and one thing the Chargers have been great at is giving the ball to the other team, to the tune of eight lost fumbles this season.

This one is going to be easy.

Pick: Broncos

49ERS AT BILLS

I’m glad Colin Kaepernick is back in the lineup because I can’t stand to watch another minute of Blaine Gabbert. How he scored almost 30 points against the Rams in Week 1 is anyone’s guess.

Meanwhile, the Bills are coming off two solid wins on the road and seem to have somewhat figured things out on offense. I can’t see a lot of points being scored here, but at the final whistle Buffalo should have more.

Pick: Bills

EAGLES AT REDSKINS

The Redskins are playing at home and are a 2.5-point underdog to Carson Wentz and Co. I wonder if that fact will be stapled to the locker-room bulletin board.

Washington’s defense turned in a surprisingly strong effort against a listless Ravens offense last week, but things get considerably tougher now.

The Eagles are coming off their first loss, but were in a position to beat the Lions late when Wentz threw his first pick. I expect them to get back on track here, even though they’re playing in a second straight road game.

Pick: Eagles

BROWNS AT TITANS

Let’s say you’re Browns head coach Hue Jackson. And let’s say your team hasn’t won a game yet. What’s your next move?

If you guessed bringing in disgraced ex-Baylor coach Art Briles as a special guest coach this week, you’re correct. And insane.

“I’ve gotten to know coach Briles and he’s a tremendous offensive-minded football coach,” Jackson told Cleveland.com. “I’m always looking for different ways of doing things. What happened at Baylor’s at Baylor.”

OK, I think we’re done here.

Pick: Titans

PANTHERS AT SAINTS

Welp, Cam Newton practiced this week, but he’s still in the concussion protocol and it’s unknown if he’ll be on the field for this one.

Even if he is, this is quickly turning into a lost season for Carolina. The Saints are coming off a bye week and are playing in their dome against a struggling Panthers defense.

Look for New Orleans in this one and the sad part is, it won’t be an upset.

Pick: Saints

RAVENS AT GIANTS

Retread alert!

The Ravens fired offensive coordinator Marc Trestman this week and that was probably a wise move. And the man who is taking his place is none other than the legendary Marty Mornhinweg, the scourge of copy editors everywhere. I’ve typed that last name countless times, and it still makes me sweat.

Was Cam Cameron not available?

Anyway, the Ravens need to do something to shake things up. And since they’re so deep at running back, it boggles the mind that they’ve only run the ball 121 times through five games. Expect them to display a bit more balance on the road.

However, will that be enough? I don’t think so. The Giants might have lost three in a row, but they’re going against a Baltimore secondary that is suspect, at best.

Look for Big Blue to stretch the field and get the W.

Pick: Giants

BENGALS AT PATRIOTS

Did you see Tom Brady’s press conference this week? I noticed that when a reporter lobbed a Donald Trump question at him, Tommy Boy ended the proceedings and took off, just sayin’.

Look, I’m not sayin’ anything, but I’m just … sayin’. Not trying to start trouble in such an explosive political environment, but I’m just sayin’.

Pick: Patriots

RAMS AT LIONS

So, the Rams are sticking with Case Keenum, huh? Haven’t got sick and tired of this nonsense yet?

While Carson Wentz, Dak Prescott and even Trevor Siemian (first-year starter) are turning heads and getting respect, Jared Goff is really wearing the hell out of those headphones on the sideline. And man, have you seen his form while holding that clipboard? You can’t teach that stuff, bro.

This is annoying. I want a rookie phenom, too! When is it going to be my time to ride a rookie bandwagon?

I’ve realized I’ve lost all objectivity with this team. So, why not just go 100 on the homerism?

Pick: Rams

JAGUARS AT BEARS

Hmmm, I like the Jaguars, but not that much.

Hmmm, I think the Bears are awful, but they are at home. They’re favored by 2.5 points, according to Las Vegas experts. And those casinos didn’t get so big because people are winning.

I sense a trap coming here. I sense the wise guys want me to take the Jags. I’m not falling for it. Fuhgeddaboutit.

Pick: Bears

STEELERS AT DOLPHINS

Like I said before, I’m done with the Dolphins.

Pick: Steelers

CHIEFS AT RAIDERS

The Silver and Black have been a joy to watch, but most people would admit they’re playing with fire. Derek Carr has just two interceptions, but he really should have a few more.

Meanwhile, the Chiefs are coming off a bye and are anxious to put that 43-14 pasting they suffered at the hands of the Steelers on Oct. 2 behind them. Kansas City swept both games against Oakland last season and will gain another W this time against a struggling Raiders defense.

Pick: Chiefs

FALCONS AT SEAHAWKS

The Falcons got a huge road win last week against the Broncos and now head coach Dan Quinn returns to Seattle to face his former team.

Anyone else smell a letdown?

The Seahawks are coming off their bye week and I’m sure Russell Wilson didn’t get a wink of sleep the entire time. Rehab doesn’t sleep. Rehab keeps plugging away until that injury is healed.

Expect him to look more like his scrambling self.

Pick: Seahawks

COWBOYS AT PACKERS

This is the game the people in the pro-Romo camp have been waiting for. Sure, Dak Prescott has done some nice things and kept the ball safe against middling opponents, but will he be able to do it in Lambeau Field?

If he bungles this game, the team could use this as the excuse it needs to put Tony Romo back in the lineup when he’s ready without the peanut gallery causing a ruckus. And there’s no ruckus like a Texas ruckus. I’ve seen it in person (I really haven’t).

The Packers are still iffy on offense, but I’ll always lean toward them at home in the regular season.

Pick: Packers

COLTS AT TEXANS

Who else can’t wait to watch this borefest? One team can’t run the ball and other can’t throw it. One has a decent defense, the other doesn’t believe in playing it.

I’ll go with the home team here, but I’m holding my nose.

Pick: Texans

JETS AT CARDINALS

The Cardinals have the distinction of being the best 2-3 team in the league. They’re much better than their record indicates and all signs point to them getting back to .500 here.

Jets WR Brandon Marshall says he’s isn’t worried about the team, despite their 1-4 start. Well, that’s super nice, but Ryan Fitzpatrick has been a turnover machine and Gang Green just lost WR Eric Decker for the season.

Gimme the Birds.

Pick: Cardinals